


Letters

by eveninganna



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, lol craaaack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 02:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eveninganna/pseuds/eveninganna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Rachel and Nico go to Europe, Percy gets his feelings hurt, and Katie begins to plan Rachel and Nico's nonexistent wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is completely crack and should be ignored. It also disregards all events of _The Heroes of Olympus_ , for those who care.

 

 

Key for Fonts:

**Nico** **  
**

_Rachel (and all gods/goddesses)_

_**Annabeth**_

Percy

Sally

_**Travis**_ __

_Katie_

**-o-**

_Dear Annabeth and Percy,_

_Nico and I are in Ireland at the moment. I must say, being in a population of so many redheads is a bit disconcerting. I guess I've grown accustomed to feeling special._

_I told Nico he should write something too, but he said he'd rather garden with Persephone._

_Love, Rachel._

**-o-**

_**Dear Rachel and Nico,** _

_**Percy's offended that Nico doesn't want to talk to him. What happened to being "brothers" and having each others backs, and all that meaningless nonsense? The only person who has Percy's back is me, if you know what I mean.** _

_**Oh, wait. You don't. Nevermind.** _

_**Not much is going on here. Oh, actually, there is some exciting news. Percy just reminded me. (He's not entirely hopeless, I suppose. I may keep him.) Travis proposed to Katie! And she must have been on some sort of illegal substance, because she said yes! I know, right? The wedding's being planned at the moment. Sally is helping Katie, by the way.** _

_**But back to Nico. Really, do you even know how to write, let alone hold a pen?** _

_**Anyway, Rachel, I'm happy for you and quite impressed. You get to travel all over Europe and you actually got Nico on his feet long enough to shadow travel you there! Well done, Oracle.** _

OK, I just want to say that I'm happy for you Rachel, but Annabeth's not kidding, Nico. I saved your  _life_. Multiple times. If I were Annabeth, I'd insert something witty here.

_**He really is upset, Nico. He hasn't gone swimming in three days. It's troubling.** _

_**Love, Annabeth and Percy.** _

__

**-o-**

_Dear Rachel and Nico,_

_Annabeth showed me your postcard, and her reply. I need to explain. Firstly, I was a bit intoxicated when I said yes, I won't lie. But the only reason I truly said yes is because I've always wanted to decorate and plan my own wedding, and I figure I might get on it as soon as possible!_

_Maybe you guys should get married. I'll decorate! I'm thinking a sort of dark gothic theme, with some splashes of color here and there. A lot of violets. What do you think?_

~~ _**I'd go to your wedding, but only if I get a front row seat for Apollo's wrath.** _ ~~

_Sincerely, Katie._

**-o-**

Dear Rachel and Nico,

I think it's lovely that you two are traveling. You're at a perfect age to do it, and I'm sure you're enjoying yourselves.

Nico, dear, Annabeth showed me your letter as well as Katie, and I must say Percy was actually quite disgruntled by your lack of a note. At least have Rachel forge something for you.

I would love to help plan your wedding, by the way.

Love, Sally.

 

**-o-**

_Dear Annabeth, Percy, Sally, Katie and Travis,_

_Your letters all came in in a flurry just before we left Dublin, so I decided it would be best if we replied to all of you._

_Firstly, do you see that brown stain at the bottom of the page? That's the coffee that Nico choked on when he read Katie's suggestion that we get married. Romantic, ain't it?_

~~_I think some daffodils would be nice with the violets, Katie. For variety's sake._ ~~

**Katie are you insane? Do you want Apollo to murder me?**

**Sally, I'm sorry if I offended your son. I'll write him his own letter soon. ~~He can save it in his diary.~~ I hope you're doing well.**

~~_Nico only replied to your letters because Sally wrote us._ ~~

_Love, Rachel and Nico._

**-o-**

**Percy,**

**I will not say 'Dear' before your name. I'm sorry if it breaks your heart.**

**Go swimming, dammit. I can't have Annabeth angry at me when we get back.**

**If it makes you feel any better, you can be the best man and me and Rachel's nonexistent wedding.**

**-Nico**

**-o-**

_Dear Rachel Elizabeth Dare,_

_If you get married, I want an invite to the wedding. Just be warned that I will have to kill you after the reception._

_Best wishes, Apollo._

**-o-**

_Nico,_

_No son of mine is marrying the Oracle._

_Sincerely, Hades._

**-o-**

_Dear Nico and Rachel,_

_LOVE the idea of daffodils with the violets, Rach. That'll really make it pop, won't it?_

_Nico, Apollo wants an invite to the wedding! Isn't that great?_

~~ _**Katie's leaving out the part about how Apollo is going to kill you both after the reception.** _ ~~

_Love, Katie._

**-o-**

Dear Nico and Rachel,

Katie's beginning to sound very serious about planning your wedding. This appears to be a problem for two reasons.

One: It's taking away from the time she should be using to plan her own wedding.

Two: I love you both, and Apollo murdering you just won't do.

Love, Sally.

 

**-o-**

**Dear Sally,**

~~_But I was really hoping you could be one of my bridesmaids!_ ~~

**THERE IS NO WEDDING! STOP KATIE!**

**Love, Nico.**

**-o-**

_**Dear Rachel and Nico,** _

_**Is a wedding actually happening? I will admit that for practically the first time ever, I am confused. Katie sounds quite certain. As fun as it sounds, isn't it a bit... hm, let me search for the right word... forbidden? Make sure to get back to me on that. Also, how's Paris?** _

Nico, it would mean a lot more if I could be the actual best man at your actual wedding. Just saying.

_**Love, Annabeth and Percy.** _

__

**-o-**

_Dear Annabeth and Percy,_

_Who knows? You know, when I was a little girl thinking about the "Big Day" I always thought I'd actually know the date! Life's weird like that. Paris is lovely. We're going on to Berlin tomorrow._

_Nico is currently having a nervous breakdown, Percy. But he says 'hi'._

_Love, Rachel._

**-o-**

_Dear Rachel and Nico,_

_I'm going to need at least $100,000 dollars to cover the expenses of your wedding. I could send you a list of what I'm spending it on, if you like._

_Love, Katie._

**-o-**

_Dear Katie,_

_As nice as it would be to have a beautiful wedding planned by you, the prospect and threatening letters from both Apollo and Hades are causing Nico to have a nervous breakdown of sorts. It's a bit terrifying, actually. And it's ruining our trip._

_So, Katie, please continue to plan your own wedding and discontinue the planning of mine. If it makes you feel any better, we'll try to be back in time to go to your and Travis's wedding. I'm sure it will be wonderful. We're in Berlin now, by the way. I'm sure you'd love it._

_Love, Rachel._

**-o-**

_Dear Nico,_

_I hear you're getting married to that Oracle girl. Not sure how that's going to work out exactly, but our family never has been one to play by the rules._

_I can't wait to attend!_

_Regards, Demeter._

**-o-**

**Lady Demeter,**

**I regret to inform you that there is no wedding. Despite popular belief, I enjoy living, and marrying Apollo's sacred Oracle would probably increase my chances of not being allowed to do it anymore. If I ever do get married, though, I would be honored if you would attend.**

**Sincerely, Nico.**

**-o-**

_**Dear Rachel and Nico,** _

_**And so the mythical wedding has been called off! I must say, I felt a twinge of sadness. Just a twinge.** _

_**I hope you're enjoying Berlin. Keep me posted as you continue on with your trip.** _

_**Percy's very upset that there's no wedding, by the way. It'd be cute if it weren't just a teensy bit sad.** _

_**Love, Annabeth.** _

__

**-o-**

_Dear Rachel and Nico,_

_I'm sorry that I almost got you killed. Big events just get me so excited, I can barely think straight. Anyway, it would be lovely if you could attend my wedding._

_However, I really do need a side project to at least partially distract myself from the fact that I am going to be reciting vows to Travis Stoll. So, I have a new idea, and I'd like to know what you think._

_How about Percy and Annabeth get married?_

_Love, Katie._

**Author's Note:**

> I may continue this at one point, in the same basic format, plot non-existent. And always crack-tastic.


End file.
